Book Review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Mason's counterintuitive approach to living a good life.
đ Thanks in advance for reading this review. Itâs part of a series called Book Club where I curate insights and ideas from my favorite books.
I received this book as a gift back in 2022 and it was my first read of this year. What an awesome book it is!
As a society, we're obsessed with the pursuit of happiness. Constantly searching for ways to improve our lives, to find that one thing that will make us truly happy. It almost feels inevitable, but what if the key to a fulfilling life isn't in chasing happiness, but rather in embracing discomfort and pain? This is the core message of Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck", and it's a message that everyone should hear.
The Book in a Paragraph
Although we wish it was true and sometimes pretend it is, humans are not capable of simply not caring (giving a f*ck) about what others think about them. It is almost as if we had a meter, constantly telling us about our levels of adequacy. The âgood news,â is that there is only a certain amount of f*cks we can give, and the secret to a happier and more fulfilling life, Mark supports, is to choose who and which situations deserve our care and attention. By letting go of the unimportant things, we free ourselves up to focus on what's really important in our lives.
My Favourite Quotes
Negative emotions are often calls to action that something needs to be change.
Who you are is defined by what we are willing to struggle for.
Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.
When we feel that we are choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are being forced upon us agaisnât our will, we feel victimized and miserable.
There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerges. This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances.
Action isnât just the effect of motivation; it is also the cause of it.
No one trusts a yes man.
Failure is the way forward.
Summary
Manson has a blunt and informal writing style, making the book a quick and engaging read. But donât be deceived, he has a unique way of still backing up his statements with scientific evidence and research as I have never really seen before.
Throughout the book, he argues that our society has become too focused on feeling good all the time and that this is actually making us more miserable. Instead, he suggests that we should learn to accept the inevitable struggles and challenges that life throws our way and use them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.
The story of Buddha is also brought up as an example of how the lack of challenges and something worth fighting for can trigger profound existential crises.
Over time, it is important that we acknowledge that we are not really that special. That we have shortcomings and in most cases are not really the victims we often believe we are - as a subconscious excuse not to take initiative.
Mark argues that many people get stuck in a cycle of inaction because they're afraid of failure or discomfort. Theyâre giving a f*ck to the wrong thing. But by taking action and facing our fears, we can build resilience and develop a sense of confidence and self-worth.
Counterintuitive values that are life-changing:
Taking responsibility
Uncertainty
Failure
Rejection
Contemplation
As we take action, believing that we are going to get everything right is an act of extreme arrogance. We will fail. As Mark says in the book âImprovement in anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times youâve failed at something.â
Overall, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" is a thought-provoking and empowering book that offers a fresh perspective on what it means to live a fulfilling life. It's a must-read for anyone who feels stuck in their pursuit of happiness, or who is struggling to find meaning in their life.
Give it a chance - you might just find that it's exactly the wake-up call you needed.
Reference(s):
Lopez, D. S. (1998, September 28). Buddha, founder of Buddhism. EncyclopĂŠdia Britannica. www.britannica.com/biography/Buddha-founder-of-Buddhism